Tag Archives: goal setting

Love and Money, How to Thrive and Survive in Tough Economic Times

I recently had the pleasure of speaking with Dr. Brenda Wade, psychologist, author, speaker and expert commentator for CNN and NBC’s Today Show. eWomenNetwork members and attendees of the 10th Anniversary eWomenNetwork Conference had the opportunity to hear Dr. Wade speak this summer.   She is the Founder of the International  Love and Money Summit which will be held in San Francisco, CA  December 9-12, 2010.

Dr Brenda Wade

Dr. Brenda Wade

Q - Dr. Wade, what did our Conference attendees share with you was their largest issue with Love and Money?

A - Entrepreneurial women want to have it all.  The problem is that they have all the stressors of running a business, maintaining relationships and raising a family in addition to the economic stresses that we all face.   Women business owners are at a higher risk for divorce.  It is possible to have it all, you just have to learn how to do it. When we learn better, we do better.

Q - Could you elaborate?  I know you base your approach on scientific studies by major university marital labs.

A - If you don’t know how to do something, it is critical to reach out to someone with the skills to help you improve.  We need to invest time and money in our relationships. We invest less money in our relationships than we do to maintain our cars!  It costs $325 billion dollars to support our current divorce rate of 51%.  This includes healthcare costs, counseling expenses, loss of productivity, extended leave, juvenile delinquency, higher crime and jail costs.  And, children of divorce are 70% more likely to end up divorced themselves.  In today’s economy, families and couples need to understand that if you want to invest in anything right now, it should be your families.

Q - It is your mission to cut divorce in half by 2015. That is an incredible challenge. What would it take to accomplish this?

A - In my latest book, 99 THINGS YOU WISH YOU KNEW BEFORE FALLING IN LOVE, I reference research that indicates that the divorce rate should never be above 8.5%.  It has been between 50% and 51% for the last forty years.  If two-thirds of all couples did premarital counseling, it would cut the divorce rate to 17%.   If the remaining couples did marital coaching, it would cut the rate to 8.5%.

Q – You talk about four important secrets that can help you build lasting love and grow your money.  Would you share these with our readers?

A -

1. You need personal insight.  What things do you need to learn to improve your personal relationships and finances?

2.  You need skills.  Start with yourself.  Do you give yourself appreciation, admiration, affection, and acceptance?  You have to give yourself these things before you can share them with others.  And you need to withhold criticism, contempt, coldness and competitiveness from yourself and from your relationships so that they can flourish.

3.  Your next step is to create action to keep your relationship growing.  Everyone has heard, “Oh, we just grew apart.”  We need to develop ways to grow together.

4.  And the last secret is don’t accept things the way they are.

Q – What is the main take away that you hope our readers will get from this discussion?

A - Learn better and you do better.  In order to tackle these issues you need strategies, tools and daily action steps.  I look forward to talking more about these issues with eWomenNetwork members during my upcoming Success Institute Tele-Session on November 16, 2010 and at the International Love and Money Summit on December 9-12, 2010.

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Dream Along With Me – Goal Setting for Results Beyond Your Wildest Dreams!

A guest post by Joelle Prochera

Dream Along With Me
Goal setting for results beyond your wildest dreams!

Joelle Prochera

Joelle Prochera

What is a dream but a thought about what could be.  If you look around, what do you see? A building, coffee mug, piece of furniture, the city you live; they all started as someone’s dream.

Your favorite song started as someone’s dream.
The airplane started as someone’s dream.
Your business started as a dream.

You each have dreams for your life, your family, your business. Dreams of the person you can be and the difference you can make.  Contrary to what some say, dreaming is not just idle fantasy.  Dreaming is the beginning of all things. With clear intention and specific action, your dreams can come true.

So, as you sit down to create some fresh new goals….are you ready to dream?

Step 1. Clear the way.

Before you can get clear on what the year will bring, you may need to first clear some clutter out of the way.  I am not talking about cleaning out your closets or organizing the garage (although those are great ideas as well). What I am suggesting is that you first clear your head.

After speaking with thousands of people as a professional life coach, I can say with confidence that the #1 thing standing between you and your dreams is your own thinking about what you can’t do and why you cannot do it.  It’s time to clear the way for your dreams.

Action:  Let go of…

•    what you think you cannot have.
•    what you think you could never accomplish.
•    what others have told you, you could never be.

In fact…for right now, let it all go.  Yes EVERYTHING! (Ahhhh, it gets nice and quiet when you clear out all that mental chatter.)

Now you have that great big space to create in, let’s fill it up with your dreams

Step 2. Ready. Set. Dream!

Whatever you are moved and inspired to create in your life, those desires are there for a reason. Following your dreams is the path to joy and fulfillment.  So let’s get dreaming!

Action:  Answer the following questions in detail:

•    If anything were possible for you and your life ….what would you want?
•    Who would you have around you?
•    What would you see out your window?
•    What would you create with your business?
•    How would you spend your days?

Write it all down and fill in every detail.  Keep working it until you can read what you wrote and it puts a great big smile on your face.

Once you have created this masterpiece, give it the place of honor it deserves.  Put it somewhere that will demand your attention.  Put it on your bathroom mirror, the door to your office, on the front of your “personal development” binder.  Not a day should go by when you are not reminded of what you have chosen to create. (Need a little inspiration? For examples of other visions visit  www.coachjoelle.com/dreambuilder.html .)

Step 3. The path to your dreams is paved with action:

Action is the key to taking your dreams out of the clouds and rooting them firmly in reality.  Your actions do not have to be grandiose, scary or painful. They just need to move you forward.  In fact, the most effective actions are usually the ones that follow your interests, come naturally or feel fun to you.

Action:   Write down 3-5 things can you do this week to make your visions reality, put them in your calendar and do them!

•    Schedule 30 minutes every Monday to review your vision, celebrate the week’s accomplishments and set 3-5 new actions.
•    For the courageous: Call 1 person who you trust, who believes in your dreams and supports your success and tell them what you will be doing this week. I am not kidding. Go ahead. Make the call now.

Make Your Dreams Reality

Know that you were never given a dream without the ability to fulfill it.  In the months ahead, keep your vision close.  Keep taking action and surround yourself with people that support you and believe in your dreams.

Enjoy the ride!

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