Picture this: you are standing right on the brink of stardom. You are one step away from closing your biggest client ever. Or you really want your teenager to clean his room without you getting laryngitis from screaming your head off. Then something happens. The director changes your blocking or the client begins to hem-and-ha or your kid gives you one of those looks and you choke. Or your blow-up. Or you back-off. You start talking to yourself about how they never listen to you or how you are afraid you would screw it up and now its happening or how dare he disrespect YOU! Sound familiar? Then you start taking actions to protect, defend, or explain why they should change. The next moment, the director has given your part to another actor; the client says he needs to ‘reconsider’ and your teen has put on his earphones to tune you out. Simply put: you just lost the sale.
Consider this: anytime you want to have someone do what you want them to do— that is a sell. I want to expand ‘sales’ to mean something more noble than pure manipulation. The way I am inviting you to re-imagine sales is to relate to it as providing the opportunity for others to take inspired action in their own self-interest. Force doesn’t work and bribery isn’t sustainable. But if you react, you loose the opportunity to influence. So first things first. Tend to your self-image so you don’t loose the shot.
Here is a Defy Impossible Insight to get you started:
- Tend to your Self-Image: if you feel like a fraud (or stupid, or pushy, or too nice, etc.) and someone says something or doesn’t say something that smells like they think you aren’t the real deal, you will knee-jerk react internally. Identify all the negative ways you see yourself and locate the gold in them. If you see yourself as a fraud, for example, acknowledge it and focus on what character value has been developed from avoiding being a fraud. I was always told I was stupid. So I went and earned four degrees to cover up that I am stupid–according to my inherited self-image.
The character value I developed from covering up my stupidity was attention to detail. I am really particular about understanding things and people. I notice everything. So instead of talking to me like I really am stupid, I simply focus my attention on my attentiveness and understanding of others. That gives me different actions to take with clients. It cuts the reaction off in it’s tracks. When you take on the practice of locating the gold, in essence you are resetting your self-worth blueprint. Your self-worth blueprint is like your fingerprint: it is unique to you and it is inherited. Your self-worth blueprint determines what you will and won’t allow you to do, have, or be. It is the gate-keeper to success. It has all the keys and it controls the locks. But if you create new practices that formulate new brain patterns of recognition, you transform your self-worth blueprint.
When was the last time you focused on your self-worth?
Join Self-Worth expert, Dr. Venus Opal Reese, on the eWomenNetwork Success Institute Tuesday, 05.15.12 at 1:30 PM CST as she shows you how YOU can transform your self-worth so your sales skyrocket!